Amongst the superheroes,

l'lactose intolerance

saves your life!

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Lactose intolerance versus lactokinesia:

a means of survival for superheroes

against "the shittiest of all superpowers

("the shittiest power ever")...

In Misfits ('cassos': social outcasts), a British TV series from 2009, thelactose intolerance ends up saving the lives of all the good superheroes, who are being slyly attacked by Brian, the evil "Monsieur Grand Fromage", armed with his lacto-kinesis - a superpower that allows him to manipulate milk from a distance, including in the bodies of his fellow lactose-tolerant creatures who have ingested it.

Let's start again: Brian, a tea shop waiter, is the first superhero in the series to go public. On the night of the magical storm that endows the characters with their superpowers, he is struck by lightning as he goes out to collect his milk from his doorstep (the epitome of home-delivered fresh milk in England since the end of the 19th century), and is able to handle the milk remotely (directly from the bottle to his cereal bowl, without moving a finger), which quickly makes him the star of his neighbourhood and enhances his status in the eyes of his sweetheart.

As soon as other, more glamorous superpowers are publicly revealed, such as the barmaid Lily's cryokinesis and pyrokinesis (the power to manipulate ice or fire from a distance), Daisy's healing generosity or Elliot's more classic telekinesis (to move objects from a distance) and teleportation, good old Brian pales in comparison: The superheroes of the first season snub him, his girlfriend turns away from him, and here is our lacto-manipulator with a murderous thirst for revenge. The smiling teenager then wears the rictus of Chucky's ruthlessness.

After suffocating his traitorous girlfriend by making the yoghurt she had just eaten go up her windpipe, he attacks Laura, the manager he finds too contemptuous (by diffusing the cheese she had eaten into her arteries), then the superheroes Daisy, Kelly, Alisha and Nikki, and finally Nathan the immortal, by smothering his brain with mozzarella to paralyse him...

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With Curtis, a time traveller and lactose intolerant who avoids dairy products, he comes across an untouchable. The latter goes back in time to beat up our lacto-killer in time to prevent him from becoming famous, and our marginal superheroes are saved in retrospect !


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